Dearest Nobody,
(Even though Clowny will most likely end up reading this anyways :P. As such, I'm not going to be too angsty and work to make everything just the tinyest bit more cryptic because nobody wants to read a confusing brain explosion... ESPECIALLY when I'm lost, myself, in my own thoughts and emotions XP yuck.)
I apologize for suddenly appearing back on this blog only to abandon all hopes of being witty and making random observations about life with the most nonsensible yet still ever-so-slightly entertaining (unless I'm just flattering myself. Ha. That's probably the case) tangents. So, instead, I will riddle the void of the internet with the trivial and rather idiotic confusion that has been clouding one of the recesses of my mind for a while, all by being completely indirect even though this is a "private" blog and nobody will be able to find it by Googling it or by whichever means they like. Yahoo. Bing (aka B.I.N.G. or Bing Is Not Google. That made me laugh btw. And no response from the league, either. ;) ) Wikipedia.
So. This is awkward... Here I go?
Besides being plagued by the ever-increasing amount of schoolwork this year, my mind has decided to get itself tangled into the oddities of social mechanics, which have only left me confused in the very very back of my mind even though they aren't pressing matters most of the time. Silly emotions. Getting mixed up in my life.
Now, in case that wasn't clear (I can't imagine how it couldn't have been), I'll elaborate about how I should be able to handle it on my own. I mean, it's a perfectly normal part of life, especially with the dramatic nature of high school, but for some reason it's so freakishly nagging to me. Probably because it has to do with emotions, and, as an INTJ, I just can't deal with that. I really do try to find logic in others as well as myself, so when such variable concepts as these come into play, I just get confused. Even enlisting the smallest bit of help from others has only made the situation more confusing and my mind descend into deeper depths of very new weirdness. And there's no better way to put it without being more obvious than I'd like.
Speaking of obvious..... http://malvaalcea.deviantart.com/art/i-don-t-quite-know-108930525 . That's as blunt as I'm going to get. And as much as my shield of incredibly antisocial self-protection will slip to let only nobody in (or at least I'm deluding myself that it is nobody, because now I'm approximately positive that one specific person will end up reading it. As she is the only one who goes on blogger anymore and seems to make it a point to check everyone else's too).
I'm in like and I don't know how to just forget XP Especially when finding me for being me is a hard enough quest as it is. To find my passions and stick with them because I still feel lost sometimes, and that might help clear up my confusion with other matters too... Maybe. No princess life for me--baha, nothing figured out, no perfection to enrapture a prince (not that I want to) and not incredibly feminine (haha.. tomboyishness could even come from being afraid to accept the standards of being a girl, like I'm not ready to be concerned with whether I'm pretty or not because I just know that I have no self-confidence :P) Speaking of quests... I should go type up more of uq. So I'll just say bye now.
And now, to never. EVER. Read this again. Goodbye...
